


The Hands That Guide You

by Krustybunny



Series: OUAT One Shots and Drabbles [4]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: CS Storybook, Episode 5X01, F/M, Missing Scene 5X01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-18
Updated: 2017-10-18
Packaged: 2019-01-16 15:50:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12345795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Krustybunny/pseuds/Krustybunny
Summary: CS Storybook Project: entry for episode 5X01 "Dark Swan"Weaving my way through established scenes -with little flourishes of my own added here and there- to take you to the missing scene taken place during the Royal Escort en route to Camelot.





	The Hands That Guide You

**Author's Note:**

> Artwork done by Cocohook38 on Tumblr

* * *

She would swear the hand swinging had been his doing; he started it, not her. But any time after? There would be a sly look from the corners of his eyes and a pleased curving of his mouth; as if he knew all her secrets. Honestly she couldn't tell anyone what the truth actually was since Emma had no clue. In the quiet moments, when her thoughts ran, she wasn't really sure if it mattered. It was sweet and cute and if some fearsome pirate was secure enough in himself (as if he wouldn't be) to swing their hands –or let her– then who was she to stop it?

She hadn't had sweet and cute before anyway.

There wasn't time for sweet and cute though, when a bad Author (and frankly a crappy writer) was teaming up with The Dark One to rewrite everyone's stories. It was running and research and fighting off villains who had beef with no one in particular and everyone all at once. There wasn't time for sweet and cute running through that horrible alternate universe. Although… Killian was nothing if not adorable in that rendition. A perfect spaz, clumsy, and far too trusting. But deep within was that resolve that held them both so steady –apparently a curse _and_ a rewrite couldn't get rid of that. Emma believed her shot at sweet and cute was lost when Henry saved them all, but a smug look from Killian from her bedroom loft had Emma hoping for just a few moments where she could experience it again. A tumble, a squeeze of her hand, a few teasing words, and Emma thought she had gotten it back.

It shouldn't have surprised Emma that the minute she found it again someone –or _thing_ – would surface and take it from her. No good deed goes unpunished, so of course when she saved the life of the man who could be found at the source of every bad thing her family ever endured, she was left with the choice of Dark One Regina or taking on the Darkness herself.

So much for sweet and cute.

* * *

Emma knew she popped up somewhere in the Enchanted Forest, but she had no idea _where_ in the whole forest she actually was. So she wandered –sure in her steps if nothing else– to find a village or even one of those sign posts with vague directions; mostly, Emma needed to find a road first. On and on she walked, as the wrinkled, golden-green version of Gold rambled on about training and reasons to succumb to the Darkness; like a deranged telemarketer she couldn't hang up on. As Emma roamed and grew anxious to find any living creature besides the birds in the trees, so grew the Darkness's desperation to get her to use her magic. She couldn't convince it that the only things she wanted were in Storybrooke, or that she wasn't keen on the murderous methods of realm crossing. Not that she'd ever crush the heart of someone she loved. Or generally liked.

_Zelena maybe._

"Wouldn't she be lovely to break? All spit and vinegar, could be fun bringing her to her knees, begging us for her life."

Emma rolled her eyes. "No it wouldn't."

_5… 4… 3… 2…_

"All this walking is quite tedious, you could simply whip up something for us to travel faster."

"I could. I won't."

Emma's head snapped up when a sound not natural to the woods filtered through the leaves. It was heavy and clattering, and she smiled. It meant a person, which meant information. A freaking starting point. She ran, faster than she remembered she could ever do… and in cumbersome robes. An idle thought she forgot when a road opened up in front of her revealing a man hunched over and pushing a cart filled random odds and ends. She felt juiced, like she had downed too many Red Bulls. But she ignored that too, she needed to get to Merlin. She needed Merlin so she could go safely home. So she pleaded. With urgency, of course, but she was nearly begging for the man just to point in a general direction.

He gave her greed.

The anger burned quick and hot, already at her peripherals because of the Darkness. The man was in the air, surprised and struggling. The Darkness was at her ear, smug and knowing. Her hand shook, with need and rage. So she clasped it, turning away from the man she could have killed as he crumpled to the ground ran away from her and his cart. The Darkness was smug, and her hand was shaking. She stood there for a long time, urging the adrenaline to die down; she didn't want to hurt anything else.

"How did it feel? Your first taste of Darkness?"

Emma felt sick.

* * *

"I know I've told you to go away! If you're here to guide me along to embracing the dark side, how about you leave me alone to my thoughts? Who knows, I might become lonely enough to seek you out in a couple hundred years."

The Rumpelstiltskin impersonation trilled in a god awful giggle, "Oh dearie dearie dearie… you're going to be the most fun we've had in centuries." Emma brought up a mental image of Grumpy in a speedo, knowing the Darkness could see it too. "Well now that's just distasteful. And given your previous predilection for a certain pirate, a bit surprising."

"It was for you Goldar."

"Cheery side note Miss Swan, I live in your head; I do understand the references you make."

"Yippee. Conjure yourself a cookie."

"And here I thought you didn't want me using dark magic?"

"You don't seem to have a clue what I want. Another reason for you to bugger off."

"How colorful… and romantic; channeling your lovers linguistics as a way to be closer to him. To be perfectly honest, if he wasn't so madly in love with you, he would be a wonderful asset to keep around."

Emma rounded on the visage of Rumpelstiltskin, rage simmering through her skin. "Is that a threat?"

"You seem to think that I'll be the one to kill him dearie. No no no… it'll be you. What's the phrase? We always hurt those we love the most?"

"Killian isn't the only one I love, nor is he the only one who loves me. You can't win this."

"Might I remind you that you _chose_ to have me in your pretty little head Emma Swan? If it's about winning, I would say I'm closer to the finish line than you are."

Emma huffed and proceeded along the way she was going. She was beginning to see Killian's distaste of the woods. With the sun high in the sky, and the tree canopy obscuring the path it was taking, figuring out a general direction to follow was difficult. It made her miss her mother, Snow would know how to navigate the scenery without feeling lost.

"I could offer a touch of help, I spent many centuries in this realm." The Gold sounding Darkness chimed again.

"Leave me alone, I don't need you."

"That maple tree ahead? We've passed it three times already."

Emma slowed.

"You're going around in circles dearie, now I _can_ help you. If you let me."

Emma stopped the roll of her eyes, but only just. "I'm not using dark magic."

"Well I didn't say I was going to use magic! If you want to find Merlin, just ask. And find him, you shall."

Emma wasn't sure if it was the Yoda like speech, or if its blanket offers of help were just grating on her last nerves, but she stopped to let it speak its piece. Maybe then it'd shut up for more than a minute. "Fine. How do I find Merlin?"

"I'm glad you asked! There's a magical force–" _Oh it's definitely channeling Yoda_ "–that can lead you wherever you need to be. Now, if you'll allow me, I can show you where to find it."

Its grin was begging her not to trust anything it said. But a magical force meant it wouldn't be by her hand, and therefore not a chance for the Darkness could influence her again.

"I'm listening."

"Excellent! Imagine a mirrored lake, a tall tree with low hanging branches that loom over it." Its hands were almost as expressive as Killian's eyebrows. Even with so few words, Emma felt a little drawn in to the cadence. "Above it, a beautiful blue sky. Now picture it in your mind's eye. Picture it… clearly."

Even with its eyes gleaming with far too much interest, Emma complied. Picturing the setting it describe. "Ok… I'm picturing it–" It was merely a blink of her eyes –less than that– and Emma found herself standing before exactly what the Darkness described. "What the–" Confusion bubbled into something hotter, "I said _don't_ use magic!"

Once again it was beside her using a voice that was quickly becoming a trigger for violence. "I didn't dearie, _you_ did. Congratulations on your first magical transportation."

"You tricked me." Emma felt an all too familiar sense of being used.

The damned thing giggled at her, "Well of course I did! I'm a Dark One."

"Go away." Emma sneered at it, their interactions devolving fast into school yard tactics that she had to stop herself from calling the Darkness a few names only heard as a child.

"Ahhhh… I don't think you want that." He gestured over the water, "Loook…."

Something small and blue was floating through the branches and leaves; a buzzing hum –sounding too much like a child– filtered towards her as it moved. She felt the darkness within pull to it, she felt the hunger to consume the creature's power.

"The Will-O-Wisp." The Darkness' finger remained pointed to the creature, tracking it through the trees. "Now, if you want to find Merlin, better catch it!"

Emma ran after it, if only to run away from the deep hungry need of the Darkness' voice telling her what to do. It didn't sound like Rumpelstiltskin, it didn't sound like Gold. Truthfully, Emma didn't want to know which Dark One sounded that way.

The Will-O-Wisp must have heard it too, because it moved faster, its humming sound mimicking the cries of Neverland, sparking more memories Emma didn't want. So Emma pushed her legs harder, tripping over her skirt and cloak, struggling to keep up over logs and underbrush. She was nearly on the little blue creature when another cloaked figure reached out and snagged it first. Emma was desperate to rid herself of the magic inside her, desperate to the point of not thinking. Demanding her needs above any others, feeling the brewing power rise higher in her chest.

She reached out and yelled. The woman snapped back like she was on a rubber band pulled too tight.

Emma's hand shook, violently. As if it was trying to buck off the weight of the deed done. She begged for the Wisp, the woman offering a fight for it. It sparked a memory of a smirk wrapped in leather, and that was all it took to bring about the right choice; letting the woman live to save her brothers. Emma wouldn't hurt anyone… couldn't.

No good deed goes unpunished. The woman offered a brief companionship and little help, Emma knew she shouldn't accept, knew the Darkness within would ruin it. But she was still desperate, and needed just one kind smile to hold over till she got home.

* * *

_Talking to yourself about killing a person you just met while they slept next to you. Good going Emma._

She was hurt that the woman Merida hadn't shown her backbone just a little more and confronted Emma about the late night ramblings. Pushed for an explanation at the point of a knife or her arrows. But then, if it was herself and she was trying to get to Henry to save his life… well… Emma understood. She just didn't like it. Less so when the emotions and situations gave way to the Darkness feeding off them for its own agenda. She was desperate again, she needed to get to Merida to explain… well everything… but she didn't have time to catch up.

She was desperate and the Darkness was willing.

She was desperate and Merida was scared, bad decisions for both of them. Pleas and threats and arrows flew through the standing stones at equal speeds. The Darkness stood off to the side encouraging the worst in both of them. Its voice switched from Yoda to the Emperor, demanding Emma use the anger to fuel her power. A twisted thought of Gold playing the evil character from Star Wars filtered through her head, making her miss Henry and the quips they could share that nobody else understood.

She was desperate. So desperate.

The Darkness was berating her to kill Merida. Merida was slinging arrows and minor threats. Emma was desperate for just a moment to think between them both.

"Stop!" The command rattling the stones as they stood, magic backing it and nearly making the air stand still.

Her hand was out and reaching for Merida. Her left hand. The one that got to hold Killian's. The one that he ( _she_ ) gently swung between them as they walked down the streets of Storybrooke together. Now it was forcing the poor woman to stand close enough for Emma to do damage. Emma didn't want to…

Her mother's tight hugs gripped her memory.

Her father's hand ghosted the back of her head.

Killian's eyes looked for her across the realms.

Henry's smile twisted her heart.

Her right hand plunged into Merida.

She needed her family. She needed Merlin to take the Darkness from her so she couldn't hurt them when she got back. She needed the Wisp to take her to Merlin. She had to kill Merida to take the Wisp. If Merlin was already going to take the Darkness from her, one foul deed wouldn't tip the scales too far. And maybe… just maybe… her family would eventually forgive her for it. They had to. They all had forgiven Regina; it only took them thirty plus years and a couple curses for it to happen.

The heart came out surprisingly easy. Bright and glowing in her hand. Tears lined Merida's eyes, hate and regret aimed solely at Emma's face. The fate of those boys held as tightly in her hand as Merida's. It was a choice: her family… or Emma's. Emma wanted to scream, knowing her face was contorting into it as her fingers pressed down on the heart. Pain lanced her heart as easily as if someone were crushing it too. She didn't want this. But she needed the things to follow.

"Swan! Don't!" Killian's voice cut through the anguish and Emma truly believed she had lost the last parts of her sanity.

Looking up was worse. Rushing to her side was her beautiful pirate. Pain and caution twisting his face as he reached out with his only hand. The frightened faces of her parents were directly behind him, followed with Regina, Henry, and Robin. Her hallucinations were never so vivid, nor would she ever imagine any of them looking at her with the loving concern as they did now. But there couldn't be a way for them to be here, it had to be the Darkness's tricks to further her submission to its whims. So she kept her grip on the heart, confused to no end with this new step.

"What? How?" She couldn't stop looking from Killian to the heart she clutched.

"It doesn't matter how. Has anything stopped me before?" God help her, but he smiled a little.

They were real. He was real. She could feel the Darkness within reacting to Regina's own magic. She could feel it drawn to the pureness of her parents love. She felt it recoil from Killian, his open love for her tramping down its influence. She felt more like herself in mere moments than she had the last few days. But it wasn't enough. Contained still meant the Darkness was there, and that meant she was still a risk. She still needed Merlin, still needed the Wisp. Now she just had to suffer the event of murdering someone in front of them.

"You don't know what's happening. This I the only way to find Merlin. He's the only one that can stop the Darkness." The evil in question responded in the positive, egging her on. "The only way to protect all of you."

Regina stepped a little closer. "But to stop the Darkness, you're going to let it consume you."

Emma looked at her, hating her just a bit more than usual. "You don't know that."

Regina's face spoke of the years she spent being at the beck and call of her own dark magic.

Mary Margaret broke the tension before it mounted, "We're not going to take that chance."

Out came the dagger, singing to Emma, causing her to nearly drop the heart to reach out for it. Killian stepped between her and the thing that controlled her, breaking the madness swirling in her head.

"No, wait." His wonderful hand still high in the air, reaching out for Emma just short enough of touching her. "You can't do that. This has to be her choice."

The heart beat loudly in her ears, against the rhythm of her own. Begging her to crush it to dust or return it home, anything so long as the moment moved forward. Merida hadn't taken her eyes from Emma, tears still yet to fall. All the woman wanted was to save her family. All Emma wanted was to return to hers.

"Don't listen to them. They don't understand what's at stake."

The Darkness was right. None of them understood. How could they? "You don't understand what's at stake. If I don't find Merlin, the Darkness will destroy all of you."

Killian filled her vision, finally taking the final steps she hadn't. His hand grasped her shoulder, unknowingly pushing the Darkness farther away. "Emma, please. No…"

"The Dark One destroys everyone near it." Emma looked to the man so bold as to approach her. She wanted to cry for all the worry etching his face. "Look at Gold. I can't do that to my family… to you."

"She has to die…"

Emma tore her eyes back to the heart, squeezing it once more. "She has to die."

Killian's hand gripped her shoulder hard. "Listen to you words. It's not you speaking Emma. We can find another way, together." He shuffled closer, letting her go just to gesture at the group that had followed him to find her. "Look at us… heroes and villains. Together for you, _because_ _of you_." His hand gripped her shoulder again, as he ducked his head so her eyes were forced to meet his own. "And if we can overcome it… if we can overcome _our_ demons, then so can you."

Emma glanced over her shoulder where the representation of the Darkness stood. It looked resigned, and Emma sneered. Hating that she had gotten to weak so quickly, hating Merida for making it so easy.

Turns out, shoving a heart back into a chest isn't as simple as pulling it. With a strangled cry from Emma, Merida was whole again and gasping for air. Emma pushed her away as she fell into Killian, his hand automatically coming up to embrace her. She felt the Darkness fade away with each caress, so she chanced a look and found the persona of Rumpelstiltskin gone. She burrowed deeper into Killian's shoulder as his nose found her hair. Needing to hide herself within him while nonsensical whispers flowed from his lips offering comfort and praise for turning away from temptation.

Emma only separated from him when Merida had recovered enough to pull out the Wisp again to begin her journey. Emma expected nothing but anger, but she needed to apologize while she had the chance. She was thoroughly floored when the woman was grateful for the experience. Claiming the show of darkness reminded her of lines that shouldn't be crossed.

 _Ever the Savior_ , Emma thought.

The woman fled after the Wisp, leaving Emma to deal with her family. Not something she wanted to do, but feeling remorse wasn't something a Dark One did, so she would deal with them if only to remind herself she wasn't too far gone. Looking at the fear lining their faces threw contrition out the freaking window however. They were here, and that meant she was close enough to hurt them; to leave her brother without parents. Telling them as much only led to her father's hand cradling her head and her mother's voice reminding her that she was their child too. Somehow, both made her feel worse.

She took a sidelong look to Killian, wondering what guilt he would unknowingly give her; perceptive man that he was, he switched tactics on her. His gaze swept from head to foot and back up, commenting on her still normal looking appearance and flirting with his ever moving eyebrows. Her father huffed, but flirting with Kilian Jones was familiar ground.

Her mother held the dagger out again, offering it up for the taking. It sung to the Darkness inside, pulling the image of Rumpelstiltskin back into her line of vision. She was starting to form a behavioral pattern with the Darkness, old bail bonds work saving her ass from another tight spot. Choices, it seemed to thrive on choices. Killian even encouraged her to take full control of herself and keep the dagger, just to prevent someone else from abusing the power. She took it from her parents, having already seen the non-hesitancy from her mother. Killian and Henry were out of the running just because she knew they wouldn't stop themselves if her life came into question. Robin was a wild card as she hadn't enough time to really get to know him. Regina was the most selfish of the group… but maybe that wasn't a bad thing. Regina wouldn't worry about Emma's well-being if others were threatened. And at the very least, Emma was dead sure Regina would do anything to keep Henry safe.

The moment the dagger fell into the Evil Queen's hands, the apparition of Rumple vanished. Henry pressed himself into her, not enjoying the thought of her possible death. Hell, she didn't either. But she knew Regina would do what was needed, lord knew she was powerful enough.

_Speaking of…_

"So… you guys going to tell me how y'all got here?" Crossing realms wasn't easy, no matter how many times they had managed it, there was always a steep price.

Killian held out his hand, high and expectant. "Well… it might be easier to show you."

Without thinking, she slid her hand into his. Simple and familiar, and she felt the beginnings of a smile turn her lips. His soft –and almost sad– one in response had it falling away. She may not look like a crocodile, but perhaps having the same power was too much for Killian to fully embrace what she now was. She couldn't blame him, she had become what he had spent his adult life trying to kill.

He led them away from the standing stones. Barely made four steps out when their arms swung. A quick look to Killian revealed nothing. She hadn't done it, and judging by the way he was looking down at their joined hands, she would guess that he hadn't either.

Until he winked.

It was sweet. And he was being cute. And damn if her heart didn't stutter a little with hope that they stood a chance.

* * *

Emma wasn't exactly sure where else she should have been looking this whole time. Merlin in Camelot was a "duh" moment, and if he wasn't, it was a hell of a spot to start looking. Ultimately, she blamed her current experiences with fairy tales not being remotely close to the truth, and thus making her devoid of general assumptions. So with Arthur's men providing escort, Emma marched with family in tow towards the city… castle… whatever it was going to be.

Another faulty assumption was that it was going to be somewhere nearby. Breaks were taken as they had three children to walk with them, though Henry argued against still being referred to as a child. Wistfully, Emma thought of the oncoming teenage years as trouble. It was the start of a downward spiral, her thoughts sinking further the more she interacted with her family. Merlin would still missing when they got to Camelot, the Darkness was still inside her. All thoughts of a future with any of her family were being labeled as "maybe's" and "if's". The Darkness had only a few days inside her head and already it had managed to get her hands to hurt an innocent woman, if she couldn't get the Darkness out, how long until she hurt someone she loved? And the worst of it was that everyone knew the cost, knew it was a matter of _when_ she succumbed to the Darkness, not if.

Emma was startled out of her ever damaging thoughts when her mom tried to hand off little baby Neal. Emma reached out of course, automatically ready to hold her baby brother, until she remembered what her hands had done and where they had been.

Mary Margaret saw the hesitation and pulled back the infant, instinctively protecting her son from the scary monster that was her daughter. "Emma? You alright?"

"I'm fine…" But she couldn't stop looking at her hands, wondering if they were really covered in blood, or if that was an illusion too.

"Here," Belle chirped up, reaching for Neal and distracting everyone paying attention. "I'll take him. He and I are old friends now and I haven't said hello today."

Emma fled before her mother could ask questions, before anyone could ask questions. And _it_ was right there with her as soon as she separated from the group.

"Couldn't foul the babe with your soiled hands? Just as well. Not like its mother was looking all that eager to hand him off after she looked at you."

" _My_ mother."

"Maybe once, but she's gone and replaced you now hasn't she?"

"She hasn't– I swear there are moments you're high or dumb… probably both. If that was remotely true, why would she be here at all?"

"If you weren't already thinking it, why would I say it? And why would you feel the need to argue so strongly against a voice in your head?"

Emma blinked. She didn't feel that way, maybe she was worried about it for a minute, but it wasn't something she had thought since Ingrid had lost her marbles. Which meant–

"Swan!"

"Oh joy, the puppy pirate looking for its master. You should kick him a bit, see if he still returns." The Darkness sneered in the general direction of Killian's voice.

Emma spun, furious with its juvenile jabs. "God! Just shut up!"

Killian strolled through the trees, "I wasn't that loud Swan, no need to command my silence."

"No not– never mind." She carded her hands through her hair, rubbing the scalp in vain attempts to move the growing headache along.

She could feel Killian's eyes scanning the area for anyone else she might have been talking to before they settled on boring into the skull pounding under her fingertips. "Emma? Are you alright?"

The fact that it was an echo of her mother only made her choke on a laugh as she threw her arms out in a defeated shrug. "Killian. I have this swirling mass of evil living inside me now, I don't think I'm going to 'be alright' for a long time."

He took measured steps closer to her, it hurt knowing she had made him so cautious. "Aye, I'd imagine not. It can't be aligning well with your own magic either. However, those of us on the outside don't have the ability to see the battle waging, and are left to ask inane questions as our only tools."

Emma sighed. "My mother sent you?"

He smiled, something wholly self-satisfied and Emma forgot for a moment where they were. "Actually, it was your father. We both saw you dash away and apparently he's come to trust me with you emotional well-being." It worked, a little. Emma felt her mouth curve into a smile. "And I see his trust was well placed, a smile won from the fair princess." Her smile broke into a small giggle, and he took the moment to close the distance. "So tell me Princess, what troubles you at this moment? Let me help."

His hand came up to brush the hair from her face, cupping her cheek. His face earnest and his eyes so damnably blue. It was sweet and familiar. And for the moment, she forgot the world, letting her hand come up to rest on his wrist and keep him close. His hook brought their hips closer, always eager to press as close to her as he could. She thought he would kiss her, lining up and leaning in as he did. But he nuzzled her nose; whenever she tried to bring her lips to his, he'd dodge away just to come in and nuzzle some more.

It was sweet and cute. She was the freaking Dark One, and he was being sweet and cute.

She brought her free hand up to trace the face that was so openly happy. A finger to glide along his expressive brows, to slide down his nose and veer to the side along his cheekbone. It was fascinating to watch the blood trail with the paths she made, like she was painting him.

_We're painting the pirate red… we're painting the pirate red…_

The old tune from _Alice in Wonderland_ struck her out of her daze, screaming and jerking away from Killian. He was swaying in place, clutching his side as blood dribbled down his bruise swollen face. His hair was matted with it as it hung long in front of his eyes. His nose, broken and shifted to a bad angle barely distracted from the left eye beaten to the point of being shut. His clothes were tattered, blood pouring from each slash of fabric. His hook raised out to her, bloodied with chucks of flesh stuck to it.

"Swan…" His mouth leaked out saliva and a few teeth, his jaw hardly able to move to form her surname.

She backed away into a tree. She had caused that, she had touched him. She closed her eyes, desperation to heal him clawing at her throat, the Darkness clawing at her magic to fuse together.

"Swan!" His hand pulled the hair at the base of her neck, forcing her eyes upwards to him. His face was normal. "Emma? Sweetheart talk to me!"

She shuddered. "You were hurt, bleeding everywhere."

His eyes moved frantically against her own. "What did you see? Was it a vision of the future or past?"

She shook her head. "No. It was just you, standing with me. I was painting your face with blood, and then that's all you were."

"When you touched me with your hand?" Emma nodded, not wanting to say it out loud. "Humor this old pirate Emma, but have you ever killed someone before?"

She blinked. "What? No of course not. Not unless a dragon counts."

"Considering how she came back, no it doesn't. Have you ever harmed anyone like you harmed that woman earlier?"

"I've been in my share of fights, but…"

"But those were all in self-defense. Never with you as the instigator?"

Emma shook her head again. "No, never like that. I was going to kill her to get to Merlin, even with all of you watching."

Killian nodded before he gathered her in close. She made sure to keep her hands tucked in tight between them, even when his began soothing strokes up and down her back. They said nothing for so long, that when he spoke again, Emma jumped.

"It's blood on your hands, isn't it?"

She pulled back. "What?"

"When I ran my blade through my first foe, I was naught but fourteen years. Slave on a privateer ship I was, but it was my home and pirates had come aboard. My hands never seemed to be clear of the red; fresh and dripping or caked and drying my skin. I had done my duty to my ship, the captain had been proud and even Liam seemed to think I had done the right thing. But I couldn't shake the images for weeks. First blood on an innocent soul taints it. You've yet to do so, but you got close enough for the Darkness to feed off it. Stubborn woman that you are, it's trying to force your hand to use magic." He cocked his head to the side. "Is that why you bolted from your mother and brother?"

"I… I had blood on my hands."

"And you wouldn't touch the babe with them… was it one hand or both?"

Emma swallowed. "Both."

Killian hummed as he took a step away, side-stepping his way around her as he raised his hand to her shoulder. His finger traced a path as he circled behind her, a single line moving across her back.

"It's understandable you know, the Darkness pushing so hard at any button it can find. A captive as willful as you? It must be positively aching to find just one chink in those walls of yours."

His finger trailed down her arm, hooking in her palm to bring it to his lips for a kiss. A firm press of warm lips combined with the tickle of his ever present stubble. Emma had a passing thought of the scratch of it elsewhere before he was in front of her again, his eyes flashing with thoughts that were probably ( _definitely_ ) similar.

"You can ignore it, but ignoring an enemy doesn't make them go away love. Just makes you ignorant of what they're doing."

Cool metal pressed under the palm of her other hand as it lifted to join the first. His fingers transferred over, grasping and lifting higher above their heads. With little persuasion, he guided Emma through a slow twirl.

His voice reduced to a whisper, "You can face it head on, but that might challenge your enemy into increased activity."

Interesting words as she finished the spin to face him again. He lowered her hands, a playful smirk flashed his face before he bent low over her right, a brush of his lips to the part of her that almost killed a woman, before pressing firmly against her skin.

Emma sighed. "Doesn't leave me many options."

He stood straight again, not letting go of her hand, "No, but the Darkness doesn't either. You have your strengths and more love around you than the Darkness can contend with. You'll win this."

Still latched together, their hands fell, swinging it gently between them. There was something about in that moment she should have been paying attention to, she was sure of it, but the loving gesture had her distracted. Maybe even with the Darkness, she could keep this.

* * *

They were crossing the drawbridge to Camelot when the power within all but jumped in her chest. Her hand rested on the crook of Killian's elbow at his insistence; a gentleman escorting his lady his said. He had to have felt her stilting movements because he let go the tension in his arm to let her arm fall. A sly grin was sent her way with a comment about how much they could pilfer with Granny's diner to haul it all back. She smiled and he held her hand tight.

Swinging it purposefully as they crossed the gates.


End file.
